Ranting. Cos that is what I do best.

Just a basic rant today, peeps.

I've been having crappy days lately. Struggling with most things, be it emotionally, work and life in general. I know I am writing this and showing it to the whole world, and I know it sounds pathetic, but I know that if I write it down, I will feel better in the long run. Hopefully I will look at this in a week or month's time and realise that things are so much better. And then, feel better. That all this struggling on the verge of insanity, was worthwhile.

I know that things happen for a reason, that life is a cycle of ups and downs and all those cliches.  But right now I'm missing the point of everything. My brain is so overloaded with stuff and thoughts that I  can barely relax, let alone sleep and not having nightmares. Deadlines aren't helping either. And the fact that my neighbours are noisy bastards and I can't find a furnished place which I actually like, is  further sinking me into the whole feeling annoyed and like shit.

Have you ever found yourself laughing when you're so damn stressed? That is me right now.
have you  ever found yourself feeling so alone even when surrounded by people? That is me right now.
Have you every found yourself feeling like you wanna break and smash everything in sight? That is  me right  now.

Have you ever found yourself expecting things from people who always say they care? That is me right now.

Have you ever found yourself feeling like your luck is just bullocks? That is me right now.

I am very  patient, and in general a  loving and giving person... But right now, I'm just below the boiling point.... and some day soon, I'm gonna break and do something which I know I will totally regret.

This is me trying to keep it all together for the 2629814746576th time.

God help me.

Money

Money buys us happiness, or that is what we try to believe.
We are all slaves of monies; willingly or unwillingly.

Two thoughts, one meaning.

Most of us, since our sixteenth birthday, or the legal work age (even not, sometimes!), we make our way to a recruitment agency to find a job, even if it is the most shameful and humiliating. Just to fulfil our desire to own stuff... cars, house, computer, clothes, shoes, booze, cigarettes, games, cameras... you name it!

When buying things within reason, there is nothing wrong with it... But living for the sake of having material objects is ridiculous. Even if it makes us happy for a while, we all know that sooner or later, we'll have to get something new because our other stuff is no longer satisfactory or fashionable. We hide our sorrows by dressing up, going out and getting drunk, rather than coming into terms with things, talking them out, learn to deal with them and become a better person. And what happens the next morning after the drunken episode? We feel brain-dead, a little more broke... and the problems are still there. So, what's the point of it all, really?

Lets face it, when we strip all the materialism off our lives, and have just the bare necessities, we end up realising that we are so alone. Why do we try to impress people and look the best through money, rather than making someone likes us for who we really are?

Even though money is an attraction, and people will like you for it.... In the end you are still as powerless as the rest of us... Money doesn't buy you real love and heart-warming happiness. Money helps keep yourself *look* younger, but you're still as old and you will die too... And most probably, no one will remember you other than for your money.

Make a difference in life by your actions, not by your stupid money!

This is me

Sometimes, I wish that I'm less human and more of a machine.

I'm sick and tired of being vulnerable, but then again... I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all...

No, this is not me being emo... This is me venting; letting it out... before I start screaming.